Say Goodbye
by BloodTargaryen
Summary: The Avengers all comfort Steve after Peggy dies, not realizing that Tony was also suffering from the loss.


The call had come on a Friday morning.

The day had started like any other for Tony; him working in his workshop, only leaving for coffee breaks periodically. He had emerged from his shop in search for his favorite drink, and maybe to see his team, with a smile on his face. However that all changed when he walked into the communal area of the tower. His favorite coffee cup, reading *_You Are More Than You Believe_*, had been clutched in his hands. When he saw the team huddled around the kitchen table. Confusion swept through him when he saw Steve in the center of the huddle.

Cautiously, as to not disturb them, Tony stepped into the kitchen. With a quick sweep of the room he saw the remnants of what seemed to be an attempt at breakfast. Which had obviously been long forgotten in the necessity to be near Steve.

Steve, who Tony just noticed, was terribly still and had a phone clutched in his hand.

Steve with tears streaming down his face. His shoulders hunched forward in a clear sign of his grief.

Steve who had a picture of Peggy Carter laying out in front of him.

Tony hadn't made a noise as he entered and the same could be said as he left. Though, even if he did he wouldn't have heard it. The pounding of his own heart caused him to hear nothing else.

He didn't even register when he entered his workshop. He didn't register when his shin hit something and split open. Or that his head cracked a little too hard against the wall as he slid down against it.

No.

He registered nothing but the sound of his own heart shattering.

oOo

Two days.

Two days since the Avengers, since *_Tony_*, had heard the news.

The team, of course, rallied around Steve. The soldier had not stopped crying since he heard the news, and Tony wishes he could help Steve in anyway.

However he knew he couldn't.

He couldn't because he was grieving too.

While Steve was grieving over never being able to kiss Peggy again. Tony was grieving over the memories of good night kisses and the sweet laughter he heard *_every night_* before he fell asleep.

While Steve was grieving over never being able to touch Peggy again. All Tony could feel was the phantom touch around his shoulders as a warm body pressed against him, whispering into his ear how proud they were.

While Steve was grieving over a phantom.

Tony was grieving a memory.

He wishes that he hit his head harder.

oOo

Four days.

It's been four days since Tony left his workshop.

Four days since he let a smile spread across his face.

Four days since his heart was whole.

Tony had thrown himself into his work. His mind set in grim determination to finish all of the projects he had put to the side. Anything to forget twinkling brown eyes and a warm smile.

He knew that the team was perturbed by his sudden absence, but they were too focused on Steve to really do anything. Except for the occasional knock on his workshop door, Tony was left in complete isolation.

Something, Tony thought, was even worse, because there was no one to save him from his own mind. However, Tony refused to let the team know how hard *_her_* death was to him as well. He wouldn't allow himself the comfort of his friends, not when Steve needed them more.

Even so Tony felt his emotions starting to fray his mind. As each day passed his heart and brain clashed in a battle of will. Neither letting up and with each clash Tony felt himself grow that much weaker.

His eyes narrowed, in frustration, as he stared at the bolt that would not go in. His anger mounting as each second ticked passed.

Until, finally, Tony snarled and hurled the screwdriver across the room. Not caring in the slightest as the crash echoed across the room. Causing a dull ache to resonate in his ears.

He just stood, chest heaving, staring at the project he *_needed_* to finish. With muttered curse words Tony turned and stalked towards his makeshift bed. Maybe a couple moments of rest would do him good.

It would be only later that he realized he was using the wrong tool all along.

oOo

Six days.

It's been six days since Tony had heard the news.

He stared blankly at the screen in front of him. Tony didn't know why he asked Jarvis to show this to him, but he did.

He turned his head to stare at the project that had taken so much out of him. However, all he could see was her face and hear her voice. Her smile as she looked down at him. Her laugh as he told her a corny joke. Her brown hair that looked so similar to his own. Her eyes that sparkled in the light whenever she would see him. Her whispered promises as she held him, tightly, in her arms.

Tony felt tears start to fall down his cheeks, and he closed his to try and stop them. In knew it was no use.

As the tears streamed unending down his face Tony couldn't help but wish he could have done something.

Something that could have prevented this.

He would do *_anything_* to bring her back. He would give up his fortune to have her smile at him one more time. He would give up his own life so the world could have the ray of light that it had lost with her passing.

He would do anything just to have her back.

Even if it meant losing it all.

oOo

Eight days.

It's been eight days since Tony had heard the news. Three since he had stopped, truly, eating.

All Tony could do was sit in complete silence. The only sounds were of his breathing and whirring of machines around him. There was nothing to do when he had finished his project the day prior.

Tony could feel his heart, as each day passed, break just a little more. With each day he felt part of himself wither away. Feeling his stomach churn he quickly stood, on wobbly legs, and rushed to the sink.

His mind was a whirlwind of agonizing thoughts and for once Tony wished he could just stop thinking. He turned his gaze to the mirror above the sink and wasn't surprised with what he saw. Tony stood there, sunken eyes staring back at him. His hair was frizzed and he was clad in years-old pajamas, marked with coffee stains and grease marks. Tony felt his legs shake underneath him. A clear sign that he had exerted himself to much already. He fell forward, catching himself on the porcelain sink and bowed his head, shoulders shaking. A sense of deja vu swept over him, as the ghosts of his past paraded around him and within him, a sneaky reminder of all the nights he had spent here, struggling to keep breathing when his entire body seemed to sag with exhaustion and numbed agony. As all the memories of her ran rampant through his mind.

Tony wasn't even surprised when he felt tears start to run down his face.

Nor did he try to stop them.

oOo

Ten days.

It's been ten days since Tony heard the news. One since he started taking care of himself again.

Tony stared at his workshop with a lighter air around him. His eyes once again shining slightly underneath the lights. Albeit with a sad air still hanging within them.

However Tony couldn't help the smile, his first one in days, spread across his face. His heart beating merrily in his chest.

The reason for his joy?

The medium sized statue that now resides on his desk.

He couldn't help but stare fondly at the image that stood in front of him.

Tony had been having a hard time in M.I.T. and Peggy had come to visit him. He could still remember the happiness he felt at seeing her and the little box she was carrying.

He couldn't help but chuckle lowly as the memory sinks back into the recesses of his mind. Tony just stood, slowly, and started making his way towards the door of his workshop.

Though not before turning back to the statue. That depicted himself and Peggy standing side by side with her arms around him. While he held the present she had gotten for him. A present that he cherished greatly, and as he walked away he couldn't help but grin. He knew that Peggy may be gone but she would *_never_* be forgotten. Not as long as he could help it, and as he clutched the present she had given him all those years ago.

After all he would never go anywhere without his coffee cup that read, *_You Are More Than You Believe._*

Tony, with his cup in hand, couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be okay, and as he looked down at it he knew that he was right.


End file.
